I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You ruined the universe
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