So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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