Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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