The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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