Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
