sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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