going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
