it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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