i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
