ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
