we made out on top of his cat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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