Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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