wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
