She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
