My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
