yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
