tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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