you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
