i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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