for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
