Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
