sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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