did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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