I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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