I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
