The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
