Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
