I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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