We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
