Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
