haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
