i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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