I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
