Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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