Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
