You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
