Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
