brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I could make wine with my vomit
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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