We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
