This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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