OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
