i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
