the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
