sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
