I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
