I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
