wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
