you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
