Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
