walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
