when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I need to align my fucking chakras
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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